Which moment did you experience that life is unfair?
People always assume I am from a wealthy background.
It’s always the same tagline: you are you because either your parents have been funding you or you’ve been living off of some kind of trust fund.
My life is comfortable and I’ve never had to worry about anything.
But that’s just not true.
My life has never been easy.
My childhood was a mess. My parents were both highly unsafe people.
My father was a drug addict who fell into psychosis. We’ve never been in contact. I only know from the documents I have left of him.
Any memories I have of him are of him trying to choke my mother.
But my mother wasn’t innocent. My mother was mentally unstable.
When I was powerless to her, beatings were normal in my home.
She had “rage attacks” where she would go from a smiley face to “I am destroying everything around me, including you”.
She would also not come after her obligations purposefully.
To this day, she tells people:
“Jasmin has always been so independent. I am so proud of her. She was making her own breakfast by the time she was 3.”
Yes.
Because if I didn’t I would have died starving.
I have also heard these my entire life: “I wish you were never born”, “I wish God would finally take me away from you”, “I should have left you like your father did”.
When some of her family migrated to Germany when I was around 9 much of the abuse only tripled with me becoming a maid to everyone.
On top of the “why were you even born” question I was now the “fat and ugly” child who was good for nothing.
When I broke down crying I would only be laughed at and mocked.
When I told my mother about what has happening I was only beat more and forced back to her family’s place.
But not with her driving, instead she would take me to the bus station and then leave with “you figure out how you get there, you have 2 legs, 2 arms and a brain”.
I have many other bizarre stories like these. My whole upbringing was highly bizarre.
And my life has never been fair. Much of my life has been unfair.
If you want to achieve things for you, don’t wait for anything to be “fair”.
Life is what you make out of it. You were born free. I had to learn the hard way. Letting an unfair life stop you from anything is just you stopping yourself.
Instead, live your life the way you want to, work hard (smart), travel hard, make good choices and the rest will unfold.
